Again apologies for my no-show over the last few days. A quick summary of the weekends festivities. As you would expect of me, I went out and got very drunk on NYE. Was also out for a pint with some friends, that I hadn't seen in years, the night before. It was a good night, caught up with some old friends and pulled an old flame. Drink makes you do silly things. Now before you ask nothing happened, but that was more her than me. Thankfully.

So I woke on NYE morning feeling sheepish, tired and hungover. Not the best start to the day, really. Spent the day itself just pottering about, not up for much, not bothered about anything, especially food. So when I did actually feel hungry I made the mistake of having a single heavy meal about an hour and a half before heading out. Not to be repeated in a hurry, this has a habit of quickening my drunkeness. It also does nothing for the nausea you feel after one to many either.

The evening passed off quite nicely, by midnight I was closing in on drunk, by about 1am I had waved goodbye to drunk and was happily shitfaced. I think it was at this point that, with a goofy drunken smile on my face, I shook hands with each and everyone of my buddy's and thanked them for being my friends. I am a happy and sometimes soppy drunk, don't hate me for it.

We all headed back to mine for some food and cup's of tea. Wherein the nausea hit me like a tsunami and I fled to my bed. I woke up on the 1st of Jan 2007 still drunk and late for lunch with the 'rents. Off I went and duly consumed a delicious roast dinner that, I'm afraid, was wasted on me. Spent most of the afternoon up in my parents house returning only to watch some sport on tv and trying to get an early night.

My insomnia returned along with a dark cloud that seemed to darken my outlook for 2007 considerably. Finally I achieved the bliss of sleep around 4am. Only to be woken by the damn alarm I'd set for 8am, thinking I was gonna start my year as I meant to go on.

So I spent yesterday in a dark place and I thought it would be better if I didn't share it with you. As I promised myself last time that I wouldn't use this blog just to get those things off my chest. Why should you have to listen to me feeling sorry for myself all the time.

Today, much better, up and looking for jobs by 9.30am, which for me is very fuckin good indeed. Not only that, I'm still at it at 2.30pm, which in the last few months has been unheard of. All this is making me feel better about the future. So bring it on I can take it.

I'm starting the gym off again next Monday morning. Have to admit I have mixed feelings about it. My motivation when I hit the gym full force last time and lost about 50lbs was to prove to my 19yr old gfriend just exactly what she had given up. When I caught up with her in the summer and she told me that she would have loved me no matter what I looked like, it took the wind out of my sails. My determination diminished. Having only spent 6 weeks out of the last 6 months in the gym through injury, I wonder if I'll be able to recapture the desire I once had, and with it the meditative qualities I crave. Or without the same kind of motivation will I never be able to reach those heights again. I think I will, my problem has always been getting myself to the gym, once I'm there it isn't a problem.

Here's looking forward to an early start come Monday morning!


laters